and i mean it.

it really seems like i'm putting to much emphasis on stuff tt are not impt.
as in, i value all the stuff that seem worthless to other ppl.
in the end all the things i put lots of effort into doing,
(including scarificing my maths test)
are seen as totally worthless trash in the eyes of other people!

no one seems to appreciate what i hav done
and i mean TOTALLY.
it makes me feel that everything thing i've been working on is meaningless
and now i feel totally stupid to have done it.

all the criticisms.
i mean, not tt i think my work is prefect,
but is it tt bad tt all i receive is criticisms?
do u guys know tt i spend all my time doing it when i can be sleeping soundly in my bed?
and my school work has been piling becos of it?
even if you know it, DO YOU CARE?

i dont understand why in the world did i volunteer myself do so all the sai-gang while the rest can continue with the impt stuff,
and all i get is negative comments.
why did i spend so much of my time on things tt others deem as sai-gang,
i do them a favour by finishing it,
then finish le still must be bombarded by negative comments and now it's making me cry cos it shows tt i've totally wasted my time?



why am i so

STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID??

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

it's not the first time this has happened,
it goes to show that it doesnt pay to hold on to this native thinking of mine,
and it's really time tt i learn my lesson,
to stop being so ever-selfless when my own sch work is not even done.
i shall stopping trying to be the superman to save everyone's day when i know i cant cant even save myself in the first place.
not tt the rest would care. they only live for themselves anyway.

everyone is busy, WHO ISN'T?
in fact i may be even busier than you!
but if no one does the sai-gang, do you expect the sai-gang to do by themselves?!
no one ever notices this sai-gang warrior clearing everything when they are busy with their hectic schedules.
they dont care. why should i?

sometimes i really wonder why i borther myself with these things when i hav so much other stuff to do.
oh well, from now on, i shall wash my hands on off the DIRT of the earth.

i give up.

Labels: I